Coming off of the foreign mission field...

A lot is changing around here. It seems that every week brings with it, something coming to a close. I have full confidence that this is God's timing for our lives and for our work here in Brazil to come to a close, but it has been really weird. I guess I haven't posted on our blog yet.... We are finishing up things here in Niteroi, Brazil and will be moving back to Texas. I haven't posted about it yet, because I have still been processing. I think the change is hard for me, because we didn't "finish" something that I can see. We are leaving a work that will continue to go on, and we are leaving in the middle of the school year here. We are leaving something that God gave us a passion for over 5 years ago, enough of a passion and a calling, that we up and sold everything, went to missionary training school, and then moved here. It has been a challenging 3 and 1/2 years here in Brazil. We have been blessed beyond belief here, but more than I would like to admit, things have been hard. Hence, the no blogging. I don't like to blog about things that I don't understand, or don't have figured out. I haven't had much figured out lately..... A few things have really spoken to me over the last 2 months or so,

- A comment from a friend about how she decided not to go to the mission field. She is such a sweet friend, and she pulled me aside in the middle of a crowd, and said, " I have been wanting to tell you that you need to have full confidence and peace in your decision and rest fully in the fact that you are doing the right thing, doing what the Lord has led you to do. " She went on to explain just a bit of how she had struggled in her thoughts to come to a peace when she prayerfully decided not to go. And then, just reminded me that I will be serving the Lord wherever I am, and that that is what counts. This is something that touched me profoundly, because I needed to hear it, again. My mom commented during our time of prayer/deliberating about what to do, just that sometimes the foreign mission field is glorified, in that when you come off or are not a foreign missionary, you are somehow less. This is not said out loud, but is somehow in the undertones of things. Maybe that is part of why I haven't wanted to talk too much about it also. I mean, it isn't as glorified..... going off of the mission field. My life is not for anyone to be impressed with anything that I am doing, but to look to the Lord. And, I know that I am being obedient to the Lord. I am as certain of our going back, as I was of our coming. Which is a testimony to the Lord of His faithfulness to answer our prayers for a clear direction for our future. We have felt many confirmations in this decision. I wouldn't think less of someone else coming off of the field, but I somehow did of myself in some aspects. Let me just say for my own benefit and for everyone else's. God is fully trustworthy to lead us where we need to go even when it doesn't make total sense. So what that we are more settled in Brazil than we have ever been. So what that with human logic we are past the learning curve and we "understand more" of Brazilian culture and Portuguese, which was not easy . If God says move, then I need to say, Okay, to where? When?

-The bottom line is that I feel released from the work here. Why, I don't know. Especially, after having such a great burden for the Project, and all the classes we took about the importance of foreign missions.... It will always remain in my heart, But, I do, I feel released. The need for help, English classes, and a director is still there, but even now God is supplying that need. It looks like there is already someone interested in teaching English and also someone ready to help out as Director part time. Both very sweet people from our church. My last English classes will be this week. Wheeww, I am not sure if I will cry, or just hug all of my kids, or what. I have gotten some of the sweetest notes the past few weeks. I do know that God will get me through it all, and I will never forget the journey.

James 4:13-15

' Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." '

I am to have the attitude of a servant, a servant to my God who has done everything for me, given me a way to eternal life in heaven, so I will say, Yes. Yes, Lord! You are my God and I want to always serve you.

I am reminded of another verse.....

a portion of 1 Samuel 15:22 says,

"To obey is better than sacrifice,"

I am just now finishing this post, 2 months after being in the US. I guess I just felt nervous, trying to put our actions into words, when even I didn't understand everything. I still don't but I continue to feel confirmation from the Lord and I am so grateful.....

Craziness in slow motion...

I really don't know how to explain the last few weeks. It seems that we are preparing things for our move, little by little, but that after we do a few things, then we just find a few more things that need to be sorted through, given away, packed, thrown away, etc. Yesterday, Joel ate a tiny bite of salad. I have a nutritionist friend, who says that you have to offer something 10 times before you really know if someone (ie. your child) likes it. I had sort of given up on giving Joel salad, and then yesterday, he ate some. Okay, so I put a lot of carrots and some raisins, to help him like it, but he ate some. All that to say, my thoughts recently have been on persevering and finishing the race well. I don't know about you, but moving isn't my favorite thing to do. I have a complete peace about us moving back to Texas. We prayed about it, put it before the Lord, and we feel that it is going a good move for our family. That said, still moving just isn't my thing. Come one, messing up everything that I have organized and carefully put into place. And it isn't going into boxes... it is going into suitcases, being sold, or being given away. On one hand it is very freeing to move and get rid of excess "stuff", but it is a lot of work to go through everything and figure out what to do with it. Several thought are coming to a point here I promise..... It is just that, all of these little efforts are hopefully going to accomplish the big task of moving cross country. All those times, I gave salad to Joel and he spit it out and made a horrible face, and now he ate some. All those items we sorted through, and soon we will get to pack the last item. In a few weeks, all the sorting and packing will be done and we can enjoy our arrival in Texas. Also, doing it slowly a little at a time, allows us to enjoy the last bit of our time here. We so desperately want to finish well, and enjoy each day that God has given us here in Brazil. We love so many people here, and have come to enjoy many of God's creations here as well. There is a giant rock by our apt. that I would love to hike before we leave. I will probably want to take about a thousand more walks along the beach, and play soccer with the kids, and go out to eat with friends, or enjoy watching the Brazil soccer game with everyone at church. It is SO hard to describe how my heart feels right now. While I know without a doubt that God wants us to go back to Texas, and I am excited about that, there are so many good things coming to an end.

God is SO good

I have been meaning to put this up for a while. It is a prayer that I found in a great book on parenting. When I found it, we were in the beginnings of the "terrible two's" I think, and I was just so overwhelmed. This prayer made such a difference, and I would even say that right after I started praying this prayer, things changed. Not that the temper tantrum's disappeared or stopped, but I was just better prepared to deal with them. I realized that I didn't have to deal with everything perfectly and that God would take care of my mistakes in parenting, or Joel's mistakes as far as behavior. What a relief! So here is the prayer, taken from James Dobson's book, "The Strong Willed Child"

“Dear Lord, You know my inadequacies. You know my weaknesses, not only in parenting, but in every area of my life. I’m doing the best that I can to raise Joel properly, but it may not be good enough. As you provided the fish and the loaves to feed the five thousand hungry people, now take my meager effort and use it to bless my family. Make up for the things I do wrong. Satisfy the needs that I have not met. Compensate for my blunders and mistakes. Wrap Your great arms around Joel, and draw him close to You. And be there when he stand’s at the great crossroads between right and wrong. All I can give him is my best, and I will continue to do that. I submit him to You now and rededicate myself to the task You have placed before me. The outcome rests securely in Your hands.”

3 John 4

“I have no greater joy than

to hear that my children are

walking in the truth.”

Obviously, I inserted Joel's name, but I just thought it was such a great prayer, so much so that I printed it up and put up in my bathroom. It is good to see it, as a reminder that God is in control of how Joel turns out. I have a lot of responsibility as far as being Joel's mom, and I want to do my best always in that area, but ultimately God is in control of Joel. He is the perfect Father. He can give us wisdom, when we think we have tried everything we know to do. He can and will give us patience when there are too many tantrums to count, or when brushing teeth becomes a national crisis, or when leaving the playscape is just too much to handle.... Thank You Lord for giving us such a giant task, one that is even more rewarding than it is difficult, but Thank You even more for not leaving us alone in that task. For walking us through every step!

Hope, no matter what....

Sadness. That is the feeling that I get when I talk to people about what happened. (the rain/flooding in the Rio area, see previous post for some pictures of what it caused) As I process and pray about it, I know that sadness is not the final word. Hope is.....It is very sad for many reasons.... Today, I saw some of my English students as I took Jude to work this morning and let Joel run around and play with the kids at church. The project is meeting at the church right until the safety of the building that we normally meet in can be guaranteed. It has been over 2 weeks and there is still no word. My heart aches for them every time I think of what they lost, but I pray that they would have hope for even better things. I pray that they would trust God in this instead of blame Him. I hope and know deep down in my heart that if they look for Him, they will find the Lord right there by their sides in the thick of this muddy mess that they are still trying to make sense out of, or just trying to forget about. They (my students) don't seem to talk much about it unless asked, but I guess that makes sense, English class or whatever activities we have for them are a nice break from thinking about it. Our church served as a donation center for the flood victims up until last week, as well as hosting the kids from the project until the building at our normal location can be used again. You can imagine it is a little chaotic, our Pastor gave up his office for the Project staff to use and work out of, and the tiny church kitchen is now producing meals..... Sadness is not the final word in all of this. That was really in the air initially, but Hope is alive in Jesus, and here. There are numerous posts around the city that are accepting donations, everyone seems concerned about what happened, and it has forced the politicians here to look at some serious issues involving housing in lower income neighborhoods. I believe it has also awakened people to God. Disasters break down our pride and self sufficiency and help us look beyond ourselves. Patricia Paranhos, our Pastor's wife and one of the teachers at the Project, always talks to the students about not being content with less than they know they can achieve when it comes to their futures and what they dream about for their lives. Dream big, look beyond what you know, let God show you what He can do. Persevering is happening right now, persevering and hoping in our amazing Lord to see what He has in store for these precious children and families. He loves them perfectly. I know we will never go wrong, trusting in God. Wherever you are, trust in Him. Cling to His Word, The Bible, and call out to Him in prayer. For your family, for your country, for your children and their future, for Brazil, for more to come to know Jesus, we don't have to look far to find a reason to pray....

Well, this has gotten very long, but I just can't end this post without saying that Jesus is the only way to heaven. I think that most of my readers are already christians, but in ministering to the people here, Jesus is the biggest and most wonderful hope that I have to offer to them or anyone in the midst of difficulty. Romans 10:9-10 says, "That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord, "and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved." Read what the Bible speaks of earlier in Romans 8:35,37-39 , "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Jesus is Lord over everything. He is our hope daily, and He is the hope that we offer to all those that we interact with.

Mudslides near the Project

These pictures are from the houses of some of our kids that were affected by the mudslides.

The picture above shows where the roof caved it at Luan's house. He is below with his mom and stepdad who are about to leave to try and buy cement so they can make some repairs in between rain showers. The picture below is of Gustavo. He is standing in his bedroom. He was asleep here last night when mud came crashing in at about 2:00 am. His little brother was almost crushed by the mudslide.

I am standing on the front porch of Mateus' house, one of our students. He and his family had to leave because of mudslides. This house could come down at any minute, especially if the rains continue.

The picture below shows how the back of the house has already caved in. This photo shows just how far the house could fall. I took this picture from my office window at the project. Mateus' house sits directly behind the project. The building in the center of the picture is home to the projects classrooms and on the right is our cafeteria.

Health

Well, again, I have failed to blog weekly, what is new? :) I have been researching the past few weeks on eating healthier. What I have found out is that I am farther from eating healthy than I would like to believe. I have often thought, "I need to care of my family as best as I can" or, "What can I make tonight that will be a good/healthy lunch/dinner." Especially since we have a family history of diabetes this has been more at the forefront of my thoughts. With that said, here is what I have found out. The reason that people don't do it is because it takes work and discipline and time. All things that our society does not really value when it comes to preparing healthy food. We value speed, convenience, and taste much more. The little that I have learned over the past few months has really helped us to make some simple changes to be healthier. We still have some things to work on, one of mine being that I love sweets and chocolate a little too much, but even there we are getting much better. Yesterday for instance, I was running some errands and picked up a small chocolate bar to snack on. After a couple bites I realized that it just didn't taste good.... I guess because of all the sugar (it was milk chocolate) and I found myself craving instead just a square (okay, a couple of squares) of dark chocolate, it has a much richer flavor and it satisfies my hunger for "something chocolate". Some of our new favorite more healthy choices are apple and banana smoothies, homemade granola, soaked whole wheat pancakes, veggie and chicken pizza, veggie and chicken or beef stir fry with rice pasta or whole grain rice, rice pasta with cream sauce and steamed veggies or a salad, I could go on, and maybe I should post a few recipes, but for right now I am not that organized, still getting used to soaking grains and thinking ahead of time for what we are going to have. Keeping healthy snacks on hand has been a challenge, but again, we are taking baby steps. As I work on this area of our lives and try to create healthy habits for our family, I think of this verse, Micah 6:8 " He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." I know that God sees that I am trying and I can rejoice in the steps that we take, because they are in His strength but also fall back and enjoy the grace of God as I walk humbly in Him. I can know that I don't have to get it all right or become a gourmet/all natural cook overnight, but that I can keep trying daily to get better!

Swimming on the Balcony

Here are some pics of Joel swimming on the Balcony! We are loving his new little baby pool! He plays with his toys, and even counts, 1,2,3, woo-hoo for his little squirter animals to jump in. His version is ___, two, tree, wooo... it is adorable! The swimming pool fits perfectly on our balcony, which has recently become one of my favorite places in our apt. Besides hanging out at the baby pool, we now have a daily routine which has really helped us enjoy our days more. If you are a stay at home mom or a parent, then you can probably identify with little pockets of time where you just aren't sure what to do. The toys have been played with, you have gone swimming or to the playground already, you have already read numerous books, and repeated every nursery rhyme that you know, now what? Let me just say, that I have thought about writing out a schedule for us before, but I really resisted it, thinking that it would be a pain and annoying to follow. We do not follow it exactly all the time and it is definitely NOT annoying to think, hmmm, you seem to be tired of playing with your toys, lets go see what is on the schedule for right now, "ohhh, let's play play-dough", or "let's go downstairs and water the plants, or run around and get some energy out" it is amazing and takes the stress off when you can't think of what to do. I left built in times where we could either do one activity or we could run errands when I need to get something done. All that to say, the schedule is going great and I highly recommend it. Back to the balcony, one of my favorite times of the day now on our schedule is our hammock time. After dinner we set up the hammock and enjoy the marvelous view and play as a family. It is so wonderful to just sit and enjoy the view ( I will try and post a picture soon) and play with Joel and relax, okay, maybe we can't relax too much or Joel will throw an elbow or knee us as he gets into or out of the hammock, but still it is wonderful!