Coming off of the foreign mission field...

A lot is changing around here. It seems that every week brings with it, something coming to a close. I have full confidence that this is God's timing for our lives and for our work here in Brazil to come to a close, but it has been really weird. I guess I haven't posted on our blog yet.... We are finishing up things here in Niteroi, Brazil and will be moving back to Texas. I haven't posted about it yet, because I have still been processing. I think the change is hard for me, because we didn't "finish" something that I can see. We are leaving a work that will continue to go on, and we are leaving in the middle of the school year here. We are leaving something that God gave us a passion for over 5 years ago, enough of a passion and a calling, that we up and sold everything, went to missionary training school, and then moved here. It has been a challenging 3 and 1/2 years here in Brazil. We have been blessed beyond belief here, but more than I would like to admit, things have been hard. Hence, the no blogging. I don't like to blog about things that I don't understand, or don't have figured out. I haven't had much figured out lately..... A few things have really spoken to me over the last 2 months or so,

- A comment from a friend about how she decided not to go to the mission field. She is such a sweet friend, and she pulled me aside in the middle of a crowd, and said, " I have been wanting to tell you that you need to have full confidence and peace in your decision and rest fully in the fact that you are doing the right thing, doing what the Lord has led you to do. " She went on to explain just a bit of how she had struggled in her thoughts to come to a peace when she prayerfully decided not to go. And then, just reminded me that I will be serving the Lord wherever I am, and that that is what counts. This is something that touched me profoundly, because I needed to hear it, again. My mom commented during our time of prayer/deliberating about what to do, just that sometimes the foreign mission field is glorified, in that when you come off or are not a foreign missionary, you are somehow less. This is not said out loud, but is somehow in the undertones of things. Maybe that is part of why I haven't wanted to talk too much about it also. I mean, it isn't as glorified..... going off of the mission field. My life is not for anyone to be impressed with anything that I am doing, but to look to the Lord. And, I know that I am being obedient to the Lord. I am as certain of our going back, as I was of our coming. Which is a testimony to the Lord of His faithfulness to answer our prayers for a clear direction for our future. We have felt many confirmations in this decision. I wouldn't think less of someone else coming off of the field, but I somehow did of myself in some aspects. Let me just say for my own benefit and for everyone else's. God is fully trustworthy to lead us where we need to go even when it doesn't make total sense. So what that we are more settled in Brazil than we have ever been. So what that with human logic we are past the learning curve and we "understand more" of Brazilian culture and Portuguese, which was not easy . If God says move, then I need to say, Okay, to where? When?

-The bottom line is that I feel released from the work here. Why, I don't know. Especially, after having such a great burden for the Project, and all the classes we took about the importance of foreign missions.... It will always remain in my heart, But, I do, I feel released. The need for help, English classes, and a director is still there, but even now God is supplying that need. It looks like there is already someone interested in teaching English and also someone ready to help out as Director part time. Both very sweet people from our church. My last English classes will be this week. Wheeww, I am not sure if I will cry, or just hug all of my kids, or what. I have gotten some of the sweetest notes the past few weeks. I do know that God will get me through it all, and I will never forget the journey.

James 4:13-15

' Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." '

I am to have the attitude of a servant, a servant to my God who has done everything for me, given me a way to eternal life in heaven, so I will say, Yes. Yes, Lord! You are my God and I want to always serve you.

I am reminded of another verse.....

a portion of 1 Samuel 15:22 says,

"To obey is better than sacrifice,"

I am just now finishing this post, 2 months after being in the US. I guess I just felt nervous, trying to put our actions into words, when even I didn't understand everything. I still don't but I continue to feel confirmation from the Lord and I am so grateful.....

Craziness in slow motion...

I really don't know how to explain the last few weeks. It seems that we are preparing things for our move, little by little, but that after we do a few things, then we just find a few more things that need to be sorted through, given away, packed, thrown away, etc. Yesterday, Joel ate a tiny bite of salad. I have a nutritionist friend, who says that you have to offer something 10 times before you really know if someone (ie. your child) likes it. I had sort of given up on giving Joel salad, and then yesterday, he ate some. Okay, so I put a lot of carrots and some raisins, to help him like it, but he ate some. All that to say, my thoughts recently have been on persevering and finishing the race well. I don't know about you, but moving isn't my favorite thing to do. I have a complete peace about us moving back to Texas. We prayed about it, put it before the Lord, and we feel that it is going a good move for our family. That said, still moving just isn't my thing. Come one, messing up everything that I have organized and carefully put into place. And it isn't going into boxes... it is going into suitcases, being sold, or being given away. On one hand it is very freeing to move and get rid of excess "stuff", but it is a lot of work to go through everything and figure out what to do with it. Several thought are coming to a point here I promise..... It is just that, all of these little efforts are hopefully going to accomplish the big task of moving cross country. All those times, I gave salad to Joel and he spit it out and made a horrible face, and now he ate some. All those items we sorted through, and soon we will get to pack the last item. In a few weeks, all the sorting and packing will be done and we can enjoy our arrival in Texas. Also, doing it slowly a little at a time, allows us to enjoy the last bit of our time here. We so desperately want to finish well, and enjoy each day that God has given us here in Brazil. We love so many people here, and have come to enjoy many of God's creations here as well. There is a giant rock by our apt. that I would love to hike before we leave. I will probably want to take about a thousand more walks along the beach, and play soccer with the kids, and go out to eat with friends, or enjoy watching the Brazil soccer game with everyone at church. It is SO hard to describe how my heart feels right now. While I know without a doubt that God wants us to go back to Texas, and I am excited about that, there are so many good things coming to an end.