Lazy Saturday.....

Today is going to be a lazy day, Joel has been down with a cold, and despite my efforts to take Vitamin C and continually wash my hands, I think I am getting it. Yesterday Jude was SO sweet to watch Joel and let me have some time to just read and rest. Today looks to be more of the same. I am reading a good book snuggled up under a blanket and thankful for the time to rest. Somtimes when life is going full speed ahead, I wish that I had more time to read, rest, and relax. Well, here it is, a lazy saturday, and the perfect opportunity for me to do those things. Off to get a cup of hot tea and read some more.

Fall

I am waiting for fall. I haven't been in Texas in the Fall in 4 or 5 years. I am so excited!!! The leaves are already changing and the beginning of crisp cool days here in Texas is on it's way. I am still waiting for the full onset of fall but I will take a cool day here and there. My husband and I are going away for the weekend for our anniversary and I hope to have some wonderful fall days then. (We did get some great fall days! I even got to use a shawl (did I spell that right??) that I bought in Mexico and love!) Fall leads up to an obvious change and period of stillness in the winter as far as nature. Some animals take a break and hibernate in the winter. Plants loose their leaves or die. I am struggling with the aspects in my life that seem to be in hibernation or winter mode. I do not like to wait and lately I feel like so many things in my life are in the winter season. I believe that we all probably have something that we are waiting on. In my life right now, it is a number of things, but what am I going to do about my time to wait? Am I going to tap my foot every instant begging and pleading for God to hurry things up so that I can get on with my life the way that I have it planned out? Am I going to let it put me in a bad mood? I have to confess that is what I have been tempted to do..... I know it isn't the right thing to do, but that is where I have been struggling. Yesterday evening while reading Joel his bedtime stories, I opened his children's Bible to the story of Jesus telling about the birds and the flowers of the field and how they don't need to store up food or clothing. (Matthew 6:25-34) and I was so convicted. That is what I have been doing. I have been worrying about the future and not trusting in God. I think this may be one of those battles where I need to put scriptures on notecards all over the house and carry them in my purse. Not knowing what the future looks like for us is hard for me. I am a planner, so when I am completely taken out of the game as far as planning, it is hard. I am convicted to even write this as I know so many who are in much more difficult situations than being unemployed and starting over in a new place. I have a great place to stay, I have food and clothing that are far beyond what I genuinely need not to mention a great husband, a wonderful son, a great family, a new church that I am growing to love more and more, a new small group - which has already proven to be such a blessing, and I could on.... So, I will put my pride aside and publish this post. Don't we all need a reminder to be humble and thankful for the things that God has continued to say yes to in our lives time and time again... instead of focusing on the unknowns, or worrying, or whatever it is that you are tempted to do when you don't know what is coming or when things don't fit into your plan. Get out your Bible and start copying some truth. Write it down and read it, again, and again, until you are reminded, blessed and convinced! Put it up in your bathroom, in the dash of your car, on your screensaver, anywhere you may be reminded to trust in the Lord.

John 14:1

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me." -Jesus speaking to his disciples.

Psalm 20:7

Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.

okay, obviously this is 2010 we probably aren't going to put our trust in a chariot or a horse, but do you put your trust in your transportation? "I have a new car, so I don't have to worry about getting where I need to go." " I have a safe car, so I don't need to worry about getting hurt." God is the only One who can protect us or take us anywhere and if we are tempted to put trust in things of this world then I believe that we are robbing ourselves of a joy that comes in knowing and trusting the One who is in charge of EVERYTHING.

Proverbs 3:5

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; "

I wrote this post a few days ago, and now when I read it, I am so excited thinking about the winter time. Things are slower and it is a time with more "waiting" I guess but that is a good thing. Think about all that God is doing under the cold surface to bring about new life in the Spring. So, as long as I am in the winter, whatever area of my life it may be, I hope that I can remember that God has something planted deep down ready to spring into life come the right time. Enjoy your snuggly blankets and be reminded of God's goodness to you today. I know this post is preachy, but hey, it is mostly for me. That is also why the illustrations are "corny", corny just works for me, what can I say!

Here's to Joel!

This morning Joel woke up early as he does on many days. We ate breakfast, watched some cartoons (waking up at 5:50, Mommy needs a few cartoons some coffee and prayer before she can start the day Joel speed ahead!) We started our day with a walk to the park, as we do most days. We played, ran, walked under the bridge by the park to shout and hear the echo. Then it happened, Joel picked up a dead bird at the park. Come on, say it with me, YUCK!!!!!! I walked quickly over and carried him to the diaper bag so that I could clean his hands with a wipie, then we actually played a few more minutes and left to go home. What has happened to me that I did not go home right that second and give him a hot bath, yuck, really, a dead bird. I have a SON, that is what happened to me, I am getting used to that kind of thing, despite my femininity! As I saw him with it in his hand, I wanted to run home and take a shower. But I didn't, I just walked over grabbed his hands so he didn't touch his clothes, and cleaned him off. That is SO not me! Oh the life of a mother. Here's to you Joel, you are ALL boy and Mommy loves it.

We love the library!

We love going to the library and just thought I would share the title of a book we recently checked out, that is SO cute, holds my son's attention and gets him laughing out loud!

TOOT TOOT ZOOM, by Phyllis Root, is an adorable story about Pierre, a lonely little fox, who drives his little red car over the mountain to find a friend. On the way over the mountain, he meets several animals who agree to go with him on his search for a friend .... It is very entertaining, has great concepts about friendship and a great ending! Next time you are at the library, see if you can find it! I will definitely be looking for more titles by Phyllis Root. The pictures are also very well done, by illustrator, Matthew Cordell! That was our favorite book this week but we always enjoy picking up whatever we can find within a two year old's attention span and ability to be library "quiet". Usually that isn't very long, but we scan the shelves, pick what we like, and then go home to enjoy our books where there is no problem with making loud comments and laughing at the turn of every page.

Everything is changing.

I guess you could say that everything is changing. We have moved from Brazil to Austin, and we are starting all over. Our time in Brazil and Mexico will forever be with us in the people we met and the lessons that we learned, and the depth with which we had to trust Jesus. Some amazing friends and some deep lessons, I am still processing most of them. :) I guess we need to change the name of our Blog too, like I said, everything is changing. I am considering tutoring part time, and Jude is taking some classes so that he can go back to Nursing. It is weird, and a lot to process. One of the things that I am most excited about, in these changes, is our proximity to family. We went on vacation with Jude's family and they came in for Joel's birthday party, and we live with my parents, so we are just closer to our families. It has been SO good for us and for Joel. On our trips to the US over Christmas break, we had great times together, but the days were always numbered, and busy. Now, we can just enjoy. We don't have to say, Goodbye, I will see you next year.... We can say, oh, yeah, let's get together next week, or tomorrow. Something in my soul was longing for that. So, I might not have life figured out yet (who does really??), and I am definitely still processing a lot of things, but I am so grateful for our time with family these days! What a blessing.

Coming off of the foreign mission field...

A lot is changing around here. It seems that every week brings with it, something coming to a close. I have full confidence that this is God's timing for our lives and for our work here in Brazil to come to a close, but it has been really weird. I guess I haven't posted on our blog yet.... We are finishing up things here in Niteroi, Brazil and will be moving back to Texas. I haven't posted about it yet, because I have still been processing. I think the change is hard for me, because we didn't "finish" something that I can see. We are leaving a work that will continue to go on, and we are leaving in the middle of the school year here. We are leaving something that God gave us a passion for over 5 years ago, enough of a passion and a calling, that we up and sold everything, went to missionary training school, and then moved here. It has been a challenging 3 and 1/2 years here in Brazil. We have been blessed beyond belief here, but more than I would like to admit, things have been hard. Hence, the no blogging. I don't like to blog about things that I don't understand, or don't have figured out. I haven't had much figured out lately..... A few things have really spoken to me over the last 2 months or so,

- A comment from a friend about how she decided not to go to the mission field. She is such a sweet friend, and she pulled me aside in the middle of a crowd, and said, " I have been wanting to tell you that you need to have full confidence and peace in your decision and rest fully in the fact that you are doing the right thing, doing what the Lord has led you to do. " She went on to explain just a bit of how she had struggled in her thoughts to come to a peace when she prayerfully decided not to go. And then, just reminded me that I will be serving the Lord wherever I am, and that that is what counts. This is something that touched me profoundly, because I needed to hear it, again. My mom commented during our time of prayer/deliberating about what to do, just that sometimes the foreign mission field is glorified, in that when you come off or are not a foreign missionary, you are somehow less. This is not said out loud, but is somehow in the undertones of things. Maybe that is part of why I haven't wanted to talk too much about it also. I mean, it isn't as glorified..... going off of the mission field. My life is not for anyone to be impressed with anything that I am doing, but to look to the Lord. And, I know that I am being obedient to the Lord. I am as certain of our going back, as I was of our coming. Which is a testimony to the Lord of His faithfulness to answer our prayers for a clear direction for our future. We have felt many confirmations in this decision. I wouldn't think less of someone else coming off of the field, but I somehow did of myself in some aspects. Let me just say for my own benefit and for everyone else's. God is fully trustworthy to lead us where we need to go even when it doesn't make total sense. So what that we are more settled in Brazil than we have ever been. So what that with human logic we are past the learning curve and we "understand more" of Brazilian culture and Portuguese, which was not easy . If God says move, then I need to say, Okay, to where? When?

-The bottom line is that I feel released from the work here. Why, I don't know. Especially, after having such a great burden for the Project, and all the classes we took about the importance of foreign missions.... It will always remain in my heart, But, I do, I feel released. The need for help, English classes, and a director is still there, but even now God is supplying that need. It looks like there is already someone interested in teaching English and also someone ready to help out as Director part time. Both very sweet people from our church. My last English classes will be this week. Wheeww, I am not sure if I will cry, or just hug all of my kids, or what. I have gotten some of the sweetest notes the past few weeks. I do know that God will get me through it all, and I will never forget the journey.

James 4:13-15

' Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." '

I am to have the attitude of a servant, a servant to my God who has done everything for me, given me a way to eternal life in heaven, so I will say, Yes. Yes, Lord! You are my God and I want to always serve you.

I am reminded of another verse.....

a portion of 1 Samuel 15:22 says,

"To obey is better than sacrifice,"

I am just now finishing this post, 2 months after being in the US. I guess I just felt nervous, trying to put our actions into words, when even I didn't understand everything. I still don't but I continue to feel confirmation from the Lord and I am so grateful.....

Craziness in slow motion...

I really don't know how to explain the last few weeks. It seems that we are preparing things for our move, little by little, but that after we do a few things, then we just find a few more things that need to be sorted through, given away, packed, thrown away, etc. Yesterday, Joel ate a tiny bite of salad. I have a nutritionist friend, who says that you have to offer something 10 times before you really know if someone (ie. your child) likes it. I had sort of given up on giving Joel salad, and then yesterday, he ate some. Okay, so I put a lot of carrots and some raisins, to help him like it, but he ate some. All that to say, my thoughts recently have been on persevering and finishing the race well. I don't know about you, but moving isn't my favorite thing to do. I have a complete peace about us moving back to Texas. We prayed about it, put it before the Lord, and we feel that it is going a good move for our family. That said, still moving just isn't my thing. Come one, messing up everything that I have organized and carefully put into place. And it isn't going into boxes... it is going into suitcases, being sold, or being given away. On one hand it is very freeing to move and get rid of excess "stuff", but it is a lot of work to go through everything and figure out what to do with it. Several thought are coming to a point here I promise..... It is just that, all of these little efforts are hopefully going to accomplish the big task of moving cross country. All those times, I gave salad to Joel and he spit it out and made a horrible face, and now he ate some. All those items we sorted through, and soon we will get to pack the last item. In a few weeks, all the sorting and packing will be done and we can enjoy our arrival in Texas. Also, doing it slowly a little at a time, allows us to enjoy the last bit of our time here. We so desperately want to finish well, and enjoy each day that God has given us here in Brazil. We love so many people here, and have come to enjoy many of God's creations here as well. There is a giant rock by our apt. that I would love to hike before we leave. I will probably want to take about a thousand more walks along the beach, and play soccer with the kids, and go out to eat with friends, or enjoy watching the Brazil soccer game with everyone at church. It is SO hard to describe how my heart feels right now. While I know without a doubt that God wants us to go back to Texas, and I am excited about that, there are so many good things coming to an end.